Assistant Nursing Mother Chronicles


I didnt come up with this term, my friend Chris did. Thank you Chris, everyone say thank you Chris๐Ÿ˜‚.


This term describes anybody living with or visiting a nursing mother for a period of time.

There are levels to this thing, we are all not mates based on endurance levels.

Stage 1


I’ll call this the enjoyment phase where the baby in question is not yet crawling, you know the ones that just came back from the hospital and stay where you keep them. Enjoy it for it won’t last for long.

Stage 2

Work begins officially aka work don start, the baby can now turn on their face and crawl, hehehe, sorry ehn, time to show that experience you claimed to have at the unofficial interview for assistant nursing mother.

PS: they don’t know that they can fall from places like the bed, sofas etc so careful monitoring is part of the requirements, minimal supervision is not allowed. The dirtier the place the more enticing it is for them & they even have mind to cry after e don hook them. So patience dear friend.

Stage 3

They can walk with their 2 legs, oya begin your marathon of running after them, faint not for the days of your running after them will soon come to an end. When the fire burns their hands and they realize that they’re not immune, sense will slowly begin to fall on them.

Dear assistant nursing mother eventhough your work is not as tedious as the nursing mothers themselves (love them). It will still test you.

You might be thinking “ohhh that’s not me” I implore you to add “yet” at the end of your sentence because for all you know you’re already one or have been one. If you are a man, woman or animal dog & you are in some form assisting the jobless little creature who doesnt pay bills but craves attention and whines like he/she owns the place aka baby๐Ÿ˜‚, by entertaining, carrying, feeding him/her, you could even go as far as making baby noises with him as per expert, you my dear are an assistant nursing mother.

This is where I’ll quickly insert that I love my nephew๐Ÿ˜˜ but that little guy can scream his lungs out, where does he get the strength from? Breast milk?

Leave a comment with your assistant nursing mother stories, I’m currently in stage 2 and hoping to disappear here soon. Talk soon!


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